Hail To The Thief
by t3h maniac
Summary: Zidane's married to Dagger and now he's got his coronation to go through, will he survive the pressure, the pomp and ceremony, or the tights?


**Hail To The Thief**

**A request fic for Mystic Spiritus. Our favourite (if slightly perverted) little thief is marrying Queen Garnet. The only problem is, he's got to become king of Alexandria for it.**

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"Zidane, honey. I think you're over reacting." Said Garnet, to what was a closed bedroom door.

"But… but I can't be… king." Zidane said on the other side.

"You married me. What else did you expect to happen?"

"Well…" He began before sighing and unlocking the door, she was right. He was her husband. King came as part of the package.

"Are you sure this coronation thing is all that's bothering you?" Dagger asked as sweetly as possible as she opened the door.

"No. Its just… you have to be born into at least some form of nobility to have a clue at what to do. Dagger. I'm gonna be a lousy king. I just know it."

"Zidane, I know you can be brilliant at anything you set your mind to."

"But how am I supposed to set my mind to waving royally, chewing with my mouth closed or even…"

"Or even what?"

"…I don't think I can take this Dagger… I mean _tights?! _How am I supposed to go around in royal _tights_? I daydream about you and then I have to keep my legs crossed to avoid embarrassing myself." Garnet had to place her hand over her mouth to stop laughing at that last worry. She could imagine the discomfort on his face if he was wearing tights and she told him something…provocative. He'd need to flee to take a quick cold shower if he was ever going to be respectable.

"You'll be fine." She said finally when the threat of laughter had passed.

"Are you sure Dagger? Promise me it'll all be alright?"

"I promise Zidane."

"Thanks. I won't have to sit through too many meetings will I?"

"…" The teenage Queen sighed, "Go get ready _King _ZidaneTribal the first."

* * *

"Your highness! Please would you stand still?" The royal dressmaker pleaded as Zidane continued to fidget.

"I can't help it! The clothes are itchy. And these damn things are squashing my tail!" e complained loudly as Garnet shook her head at her husband.

"Well maybe we need to find some way to accommodate the tail with out destroying the fabric."

"…I hate tights." Zidane grumbled

* * *

"Zidane, no."

"Aw come on!" He moaned.

"No!" She shouted, causing several soldiers in the castle to do a quick double take.

"please?" He asked, trying his best impersonation of puppy dog eyes, using his tail to try and add to the effect.

"No I will not let you have another bachelor party."

"Its not a bachelor party. Its just me and a few of my Tantulus buddies going out for a drink to celebrate my last day of freedom as one of the guys." Zidane explained.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I do not want my husband and newest royal to be smelling of whiskey."

"Tch, fine."

* * *

"By the power vested in me by the two moons, the eilodon Alexander, the people of Alexandria to whom we all owe this man so much in years past…"

_Just put the crown on me and be done with it. Please! Dagger, help!_

"blah…blah blah…blah." The priests vows and declerations decended into gibberish for Zidane.

_Come on, how much is this going to on for?_

"I hereby declare you, Zidane Tribal, loyal husband to Queen Garnet Till Alexandros XVII, King."

_Oh thank god, now I can get out of these tights. _The genome said, breathing a sigh of relief as the crowd roared in applause.

"You did very well Zidane. I'm proud of you." His Queen came up to meet him with a formal (they were in public you know, not the place for a full make-out session like they would have liked) kiss. Zidane smiled back through the discomfort of his regal wear.

"Thanks Dagger, now how about getting me out of these damn tights? Please?"

"Maybe later." She said with a seductive smirk on her face. She looked down for a moment and placed a hand over her mouth.

_Damn tights._

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Well that's it. Don't forget to leave a review and a thank you to Mystic for the concept. Poor Ziddy, tights (suppresses shudder).


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